Abortion Clinic “Licensing” ???

I read the news on my phone every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed.  For some reason, I cannot fall asleep until I know what has happened in the world since waking, and I cannot get up in the morning until I know what has happened in the world since falling asleep.  This is a ritual that I rarely skip.

On Saturday night, the following headline actually ended up keeping me awake (along with some poor choices in terms of the amount of food I had consumed that day):

Some MN Lawmakers Want to License Abortion Clinics

Click on the title to read the news story yourself.

Interrupting myself: I identify myself as someone who is pro-life. I believe that we should avoid taking life whenever possible through abortion, war, euthanasia, and yes – even – the death penalty.  Side note: I want to support the death penalty because I am a revenge-seeker; however, it is not my revenge to seek, and I do believe that taking that life is wrong.  However,  I am not someone that you would find holding a protest sign calling a woman a “murderer” as she enters an abortion clinic.  If I were at the clinic at all, I would be there to offer an alternative, help through that choice, and love through the situation that brought her to want an abortion at all.

Back to the news: I read the article with great interest. Although I think we are a nation a long way from making abortion illegal again, I am always hopeful that limiting the scope rather than broadening scope will occur with each legislative session.  I had no idea before this news story that abortion clinics in Minnesota had no regulations to follow and no one to whom they answered.  How could this be?  Abortion is typically a surgical procedure – surely it needs regulations for safety, codes of ethics, and concern for women.

Apparently, I was wrong.  This would be new to Minnesota abortion clinics, and abortion advocates are opposed to it.  According to Linnea House, with the Minnesota Abortion Rights Action League, “this is a veiled attempt to limit access to abortions and gives the state unprecedented authority to close abortion clinics down if they have a high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time.” (Quote directly from the article).

Did I hear her correctly?  She is more concerned about clinics staying open than she is about safety?  That is what I hear when she says the state should not have the authority “to close an abortion clinic down if they have a high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time.”

Let’s think about this in some different situations.  If my child’s daycare has a “high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time,” the state has the right to close the daycare.  If a hospital has a “high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time,” the state has the right to close the hospital.  If my grandmother’s nursing home has a “high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time,” the state would have the right to close the the nursing home.

By the way, none of my grandmothers are in nursing homes – using them was merely for dramatic effect – they would all understand…and that is my digression for the day.

The point is that we take a great deal of care with our toddlers, with those in the hospital, and with our elderly.  Why would we take less care of our women in the midst of a very emotionally charged surgical procedure?  Regardless of the “side” of the abortion controversy we find ourselves situated, we all claim to be pro-woman.  I find it interesting that an advocacy group that argues minute-by-minute each day to keep abortion legal for the sake of women is opposed to regulations that would keep women safer.

Should not a clinic that has a “high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time” be closed?  I thought to myself, what could possibly be in this bill that would make anyone oppose it?  So – I looked up the bill so that I could read it for myself.  I have always been a proponent of original documents – click here to read the original document.

I read the entire bill – all twelve pages.  Thankfully, my years in online education and charter schools have taught me how to read these things.  Overwhelming and daunting are they.

What could anyone possibly oppose in this bill that is, for the most part, about safety regulations for a clinic performing a surgical “procedure"?  And then I found the issue that would cause opposition from Ms House in subsection 9.e.4  - it requires an ultrasound evaluation and a report on the status of the fetus to the mother prior to the abortion.

So – is the opposition about limiting access to women?  I do not think so.  If they want to continue to beat that drum, they certainly can, but I do not buy it.  As I stated, the opposition to safety for women cannot hold.  Regardless of where we stand on the abortion issue itself, no one should be arguing against safety in medical procedures. Our plastic surgeons must be regulated – we want safety when we are nipping and tucking – why would we not want the same safety when someone is poking around our internal women parts?

The problem has to be bigger than that.

And I assert that it is.  The problem Ms House has with the Minnesota bill is the ultrasound requirement. So then we have to ask, “Why would anyone be opposed to a woman having an ultrasound before an abortion procedure?” 

The answer is simple. 

According to a spokeswoman for the Catholic Conference of Illinois, “80 percent of women (seeking abortions) who view ultrasounds of their babies decide against abortion” (quote found by clicking here).  The problem is not that the bill limits abortions; the problem is that the bill requires an ultrasound which pro-life camps assert reduces the amount of times women choose abortion.

If the pro-choice side of the debate is truly about choice, then what is wrong with women choosing not to abort?  And please do not start an argument in the comment section about how this makes women feel guilty about what they are about to do. 

As a pastor’s wife, I have had the privilege of hearing from women – a few months after an abortion or many years after they an abortion – and none of them were happy about the choice they had made.  They have lived with guilt from the moment they left the clinic.  They resented the situations they were in at the time, they became adamant pro-lifers who would stand against abortion in the current political realm, and they struggled to forgive themselves for their choice.  Thankfully, there are organizations and people who welcome post-abortive women into fellowship and walk a road with them so that they can learn that forgiveness is there for them.

The abortion industry already had reason to be concerned before this bill ever came along.  According to a newspaper  article this summer, abortion rates in Minnesota are already in decline by 7-10%.  If this proponents of ultrasound use are correct with their 80% number, the abortion industry’s funding would drop substantially.  In 2003, a law went into effect in Minnesota requiring that women wait 24 hours before having an abortion; the data seems inconclusive about the impact on the abortion industry.

FYI: my tattoo artist required me to wait 7 days between consult and the “procedure.” Chew on that for a few minutes…

I have obviously rambled and lack quite a bit of coherence in all of this.  I did not set out to argue the right or wrong of abortion but rather question the opposition of making it safe or even of reducing the need for it.  I am pro-woman as well as pro-child…and actually – pro-man (it takes two to make the one, right?), and I am tired of women being lied to, hurt in procedures, and left on their own to recover – physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Seriously – what abortion clinic offers counseling afterwards and helps women learn that God forgives?

This debate could be over very easily. 

I think that we all should be about ending the need for abortions at all by looking at factors that lead women to choose it in the first place.  Society is more concerned with “taking care of the problems” through abortion than with working through the problems that make abortion attractive.  Would it not be great if we all came around women (and men) and said, “I know that this is hard.  You are not alone.  Why is abortion the choice you want to make?  If that reason was not there, would you have the baby?  We will help you through that. There are alternatives to abortion.”

That would be a great day…until then, let’s make this as safe as possible by regulating the clinics with the same vigilance we do our daycares, hospitals, and nursing homes and allowing the state to close down the ones that have a “high enough number of violations that go uncorrected for a lengthy period of time.” 

Anything less than that seems unacceptable to me.

Texting? In Church? Yeppers!

Unless you are a new reader to this blog, you already know two things about me:

1. I am married to a pastor.
2. I think he is the best pastor ever.

As if the man needed to have his stock go any higher in my book, he did a fantastic thing in church – he encouraged texting!  Not only did he encourage us to text in general, but he encouraged us to text him…during the sermon! 

Check out what he put on the screen throughout his sermon yesterday:

Not only is the man encouraging texting during church about the sermon, but he is then going to take the questions and comments and interact with them in a blog.  This is a humble and daring move for any pastor.  It’s almost like saying, “Hey – just so you won’t forget how you argue with my points today, just stand up in the middle of church and start a conversation with me.”

The problem with doing that would be that the same vocal, outspoken people would stand up and make their points week after week while the thinkers sit back and ponder all of it.  Thinkers need time to process the information and deliberate a bit with themselves before they interact with the pastor. 

This process allows for all to have their say. I talk out loud to think to think things through (I would be one of the people monopolizing the talking if he asked us to that instead)…I texted him my two questions during the sermon.  But I am pretty sure that some of my thinking friends went home and texted him later in the afternoon with their comments and questions.

Both approaches are valid, and my huz is validating both approaches.  The congregation has about 24 hours before he blogs about the sermon, his extended thoughts, and the comments and questions from texts that he received.  By noon each Monday, you can read his blog about the sermon the day before.  Check it out by clicking here, and you can check out his sermons by clicking here.

Beyond any of what I have mentioned so far, though, I believe the most amazing part of my huz’s willingness to use texting as a communication medium between himself and his congregation is his willingness to embrace technology and the behaviors that come with the changes.  Consider this: how many of those in the congregation already text, check Facebook, or do something on their phones already?  Rather than saying, “Put your phone away and listen!” he says, “Take your phone out and text me a question.” 

This is revolutionary.

The perception from the masses is that – as a pastor – he should be stifling this misbehavior in church.  Instead, he not only encourages it but also embraces it.  He takes what people are already doing and asks them to incorporate it into their worship. I realize that there are many out there who would disagree with this, and that is their right.  They just happen to be wrong.  The technology is there. The people are engaged in and with the technology.  Why not meet the people where they are and engage them through technology?

Before anyone thinks that I am a total nut, let me explain that I do not advocate for a screen as your pastor. I do think that there are ways that technology can go too far. While I can see the mega-church point of consolidating pastoral staff by piping in the message, I do not like it.  I think that something is missing – the pastor…the one who shakes hands with the people in that building as they walk out the door after the service, the one who can pray with someone right there, and the one that preached that sermon and can interact when someone has a question.

And church is not about entertaining – it is about worshipping our Creator and connecting with Him and His people.  While the huz was on sabbatical a few summers ago, we attended some churches whose services were more like a concert and a motivational than a worship service with someone challenging me from the Bible.

All that I am trying to say is that a little engagement with the world is good for the church. We do not want to become the world in the sense that we follow into the sinful ways; however, we do want to use the tools that the world provides for us to do things better as well as to engage the culture (those in the congregation) in worship.

And for that – I applaud my huz for letting me text him sweet-nothings while he preaches.

Happy Monday!

Things That Make Me Raise My Eyebrows

I am not shocked by much, but I am always just a little surprised by some things.  These things make me do a double-take, raise my eyebrows, and wonder, “what in the world?”

I have been taking pictures of some of these things lately because I thought “the world” should know what makes my eyebrows go up in surprise.  This is the first installment of this type of blog.  When I collect some more, I share again.  For today – I hope they bring smiles to readers faces as much as they have to mine.

The above picture is from a trash bin located in the CVS women’s bathroom.  Why would we need to be told not to put confidential trash in this trash bin?  Hmmm…

I took the above pictures at the Wells Fargo in Northeast Minneapolis.  My teller provided dum-dums to her customers, and some dum-dum has left his (or her) trash in the brochure bin…when there was a trash bin very nearby.  Why?  Hmmm…

WiFi in my grocery store?  Why? Because it makes life easier? Hmm…

Happy Sunday!  May it be filled with things that make your eyebrows raise!

What’s Your Hobby?

I saw the sign below a few weeks ago when I waited for the girl to wrap up her cake decorating class – her Christmas present from the boy.  How cool is that, huh?  I thought about how fitting it was that he enrolled her in this class during January – National Hobby Month.  I also wrote some future stories in my mind about how much money the boy will save one day when he asks his sister to make his wedding cake.  Not a bad move!

I love that the sign encourages us to “help the kids find a new hobby,” but it made me a think a little bit about my own hobbies and if I even have one.  It also made me think about the way I view the hobbies of others.  In fact, I realized that the idea of something “just for fun” or that purely brings me joy sort of escapes me.

What do I like to do?

I like to write – obviously.  I think at this point in my life it might be a hobby.  When it crosses over into something a bit more lucrative, it will no longer be a hobby.  For now, as it does not have any cash value assigned to it, it is a hobby.

I like to learn.  This is an area that I need to explore a bit more this year.  In the past few years, I have learned for the sake of broadening my understanding of things related to my career and its advancement.  The last time I took a class for the sake of enjoying it and simply learning was 2002…and even then the credits eventually did go toward my master’s degree.  So…that is something to consider this year.  What would I like to learn? 

Latin.  Definitely Latin.

I like to walk and listen to music.  I have put these two “hobbies” to good use over the past couple of weeks and have been happy with the results.  I woke up a few days again and realized that I felt pain in places that I did not know could have pain.  This is a good sign.  But is this a hobby?

I am somewhat miffed by this concept.  What do other people think?  What are your hobbies?  Why do you do them?  What is it about them that draws you to them?

Staging Areas

This blog post has been dinging around in my brain for a few weeks.  I figure it is time to get it out.  In essence, my mind has been a staging area for this post.  Let me explain.

Staging Areas VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

For the past few months, construction has been going on in my office building.  As I write that, I realize that construction always seems to be going on in my office building.  As soon as the peeps who do this work finish one project, they start the next.  They are constantly painting the walls new colors (by the way – if the outside of a building has green accents, why would you paint the interior hallway walls a deep, dusk blue?), changing the carpeting, and even removing the beautiful flooring. Project after project – I hear them washing down the walls next to my office, I step around their equipment in the hallways, and I talk to the workers to find out what is going on next (it was super cool to learn about the windows for walls in the office suite across the hall from mine before anyone else!).

Last week, as I walked out to the parking garage, I saw a bunch of stuff sitting in the empty suite next to ours.  I tried the door to see if I could get a picture, but the door was locked.  The next day, though, on my way in to work, the door was unlocked. I looked around and found that I was alone in the hall, so I quickly stepped into the room and snapped a few photos.

You see, I have been super intrigued by this staging area and the other ones throughout the building.  There is so much stuff that goes into construction and remodeling…paint, carpeting tarps, tools (I do not know what any of them are called, but I do know the category!), and scaffolding.  At the end of the work day, these cannot be left out while at the same time what a pain to have to drag them in and out again.  The staging areas are necessary.

And this, of course, got me thinking about other staging areas that we have – and ones that we do not have but should.  For example, I have a staging area for the doing the tax preparation each year.  It is my dining room table, and you should not come to visit on that day.  I tend to take a day off from work or commit a Saturday to this task.  It takes up the whole table, all eight of the chairs, and often overflows to the couches and piano.  Once I complete the task, I tear down the staging area and move.

Another great example of this is our laundry room which has the same square footage as our kitchen. Imagine what people in other country’s must thing when they read that!  I have dedicated a room – larger than any of bedrooms, I might add – to such a lowly task as washing my clothing!  When we lived in Scotland, our laundry facility included only one machine – a washer/dryer combo.  Let’s be honest, though, it did not truly dry much of anything.  Drying racks took over my bedroom whenever it was laundry day.  I miss Scotland, but the laundry drill is not part of the missing.

But what things should have a staging area but do not?  This is what has kept me from writing the post until today.  I know that I have things in my life that do require staging areas – spots set apart for specific tasks that require my time and attention.  And to be honest, I do not want to admit them to the world by writing them or even saying them out loud.  Having a staging area means that there is a commitment of space and time.  There are plenty of things in my life that should have a staging area but do not.

And today I intend to have a great think about this. If I forget, I will be reminded of it again as I walk past the staging area in my office building.  Perhaps the construction going on inside of the office building will end when I no longer require the construction on the inside of me.

I think the office building might be complete before I am!

Making a 5k Playlist

Last night, I “hit the pavement” in a way that I did not realize I could. Yesterday had its fill of phone calls, odd conversations, and – let’s face it – frustrations.  I work with humans, I am human, and it seems that frustration follows wherever humans go.  Poor God.  I wonder if He knew this when He created us. 

Of course, He did.  And, again, I digress…

I did this awesome program of 30 minutes – twice.  I was so excited that I completed a 5k in 52 minutes (3.75 miles in 60 minutes)…great fun!  I did pay attention to see if the twenty minute theory that I discussed in a blog post last week; it works. There is no doubt.  Get over the first twenty minutes, and I think I could walk for six miles.

About half-way through the first set, I started paying attention to my music and making my music choices based on the pace that I needed it to support. 

And that is when the “ah-ha” happened! 

The key to a good workout could be ensuring that the sounds around me support that.  I could watch TV to distract me, but I do not actually like a lot of TV shows.  And just TV alone would sort of bore me.  But – “The Biggest Loser” or some show about pawn shops (yes – both of them…on different TVs) are tolerable as long as I have good playlist.

I thought I would share last night’s playlist.

1. Viva la Vida by Coldplay
2. Boston by Augustana
3. I. Love. You
4. Song from the “August Rush” Soundtrack
5. Barton Hollow by the Civil Wars
6. From This Valley by the Civil Wars
7. We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel
8. Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
9. Beautiful Wreck by Shawn Mullins
10. Alice from the Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton) Soundtrack
11. Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy
12. The Little Things by Colby Caillat
13. Downeaster “Alexa” by Billy Joel

And that is how you do a 5k in 52 minutes.

Note: I know that 52 minutes is nearly laughable; however, I figure that it is not too bad for walking.  I also figure that it is pretty good that I am doing any form of exercise and that it does not matter how long it takes to finish a 5k…the point is I finished a 5k!

Happy 16th Birthday to the Girl!

There is truly no other way that I can post today except to honor the girl that God entrusted me to raise.  She is a compassionate, kind, and brilliant young lady.  I am proud to be her mother, and I know that she will do great things in her future as she does great things every day.  I guarantee that we would be friends even if we were not related.

Sixteen years ago, the girl came along a month too early.  As the (pastor) huz mentioned in his sermon this week, he called a friend and said, “Jim, she just didn’t come at the right time.”  But she did – she came in God’s timing.  The huz and I had not turned 22, had not been married even a year, and had finished college.  She came in the middle of my final senior semester.  I had to change a few classes because of her early arrival, she went back into the hospital for jaundice and RSV, and the first few months were really hard.  Her timing was just out of whack.

And she has kept us on our toes every since!

But – she is more than an interruption or something to be endured…she is a blessing, and she always has been.  Even in the first few months when we had no idea what we were doing as parents (and had to rely on a lot of advice), she was a blessing. She was beautiful, and she has been beautiful throughout her entire life.

As a girl of sixteen, she blesses us daily.  Oh – she is a teen and has her times of difficulty, but overwhelmingly, she is awesome.  The huz and I will have had a long day, and we come home to find that she has cleaned the kitchen without being asked to do so. She has an empathetic heart and cares about those around her.  She wants to include those who might be left out at the lunch table or in a class.  This past summer, she spent many weeks at camp.  The huz and I had the chance to see her in action, and we were impressed.

I have to admit that I am not ready for her to be sixteen. I am not ready for her to start driving a car alone, for her to have a summer job, or for her to receive emails from three or four colleges each day.  The reality that we are marching more and more quickly to her departure is one that scares me while it excites me for her. 

I know that her future is bright and filled with great things that God has planned for her, but I want her to always remember that I am her mom.  I want her to ask my opinion just one more time while I want to prepare her to make decisions on her own.  I want to be important to her, but I need realize that I am no longer the center of her universe.  Maybe I never was.

Regardless of how I feel about today, I want her to know that I am blessed to be her mother, I am proud of her, and even if she does not think she needs it – I will always pray for her.

Happy Birthday, Darlin’!

Gambling and Lottery Tickets

The girl was going to make red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting on Saturday night for the church potluck after church on Sunday.  However, she needed sour cream, so I headed to the nearby “bunny” store to pick up the item.

As the clerk rang up my purchase, I stared at the numbers on the till.  However, she thought I was staring past the till and at the sign pictured to my left. 

She said, “Oh, she wants a powerball!”

I laughed and shook my head – sure that I could not share how I really felt about buying a lottery ticket.  She and the man in the store shooting the breeze asked me why I laughed, so I said, “Well, unless someone sees this as just a fun purchase…and the money comes out of some recreation fund in the budget, I see it – and gambling in general – as a tax on stupidity. I know people who think that this is how they will be able to retire someday, and that is just not reality.”

So – what do readers think? 

Writing the Wrong Story

The title of this post and the content of this post were not how I originally had intended to write this post.  I think it will give a few people a chuckle, and I am guessing that a lot people will relate.

The original story: My school rented a new space for my department and the special education department in the same building (RiverPlace in Minneapolis) where the records, guidance, and administration already were.  When we took over the new space in October, construction was well underway to transform the space across the hall from us. I watched the transformation in a way that only a person who grew up in my parents’ home could … with much interest.  What were they doing?  What company will be there? What is new today? Are they taking what used to be a nearby bathroom?

When the construction ended a while back, I learned from a couple of Code Forty Two  employees about the design of the space.  All outside walls – including those into the hall – were now glass. The walls appeared to have be different shades, but they were not! They were all one color, but – because of the exterior glass walls – the various interior walls appeared to be different shades because of the way that the sun (or lack thereof) came in.  Simple cubicles and standing stations along with a simplistic reception desk were all that one could see inside.  There seemed to be no paper in the entire place.

On more than one occasion, I observed the company workers in a meeting and have only become more and more interested in the company’s philosophies.  As I went from our suite to the other suite for our school, I saw a few or all of the employees in this glass room – a fish bowl – holding a meeting.  No paper. No pens. No table. No chairs. No laptops.  Just four walls and a bunch of (mostly) guys standing around talking about their great ideas.  At one point, I observed a rather heated exchange that looked as if one was calling the other out about his body language.

It was so fascinating! I suggested the concept to more than one colleague, and none of us thought it would work.  Oh well – maybe at another school or company some day?

The real story: On Friday, as I went from my suite to the other suite, I snapped the above photo.  I finally needed to blog about this concept.  Can it really work?  When I returned later in the day, two employees stood outside the suite with a bunch of items needing to be shipped to a trade show…their freight elevator was out of commission, so they had filled the hall while waiting for the truck.  In true Italian-Stacy fashion, I chatted them up about the company and I got the real deal on the fish bowl conference room.

No lofty philosophy.  The table and chairs were simply on back order.  In fact, they sat in the middle of the office space’s reception area  - in boxes waiting for someone to unpack them and put them together.  Disappointed?  I am.  *sigh*  Oh well.

How often do we write stories before we have the facts?  In this case, it was pretty harmless, but I do this all of the time with what I think are people’s perceptions of me and in myriad of other situations.  Lesson learned: get the real story before I write the story.

Many thanks to Ben and Jillian for setting me straight on the story.  Even though I am devastated at this change in events, I am thrilled to know “the rest of the story.”

January–National Mentoring Month

I happened upon this wonderful blog post and thought to myself, “Wow – I wish that I had written that.”  I have never posted another person’s blog post for my daily blog, but this one is so good and so relevant that I have decided it must happen.

I hope you enjoy it!

On Mentoring: “A Very Special Episode”

If that does not make you want to mentor, I do not know what will!

What do you think?  Do you mentor? Have you considered it? What have you enjoyed?  What have been struggles?  I would love to see a great discussion in the comment box.

Happy Saturday! 

Widman’s Chocolate–YUMMY!

On our trip to Grand Forks last weekend, the girl and I made a quick trip to the candy shop.  The girl claims she has never been there.  I feel like a bad parent somehow. We went because I needed to pick up some “chippers” for my server-friend-almost-relative from Nonna Rossa’s in Robbinsdale.

Well, the girl was in heaven – and so was I.  Just the smell when you walk in the door makes you think that you might have crossed over between here and there.  I think I might actually like the smell of chocolate more than the taste of chocolate.  The other thing that I came to while visiting the shop and tasting some of the yummies is that expensive chocolate really is better.  I do not consume a lot of chocolate because I can mostly only afford poor quality chocolate, and I do not really like it. The good stuff is really, really good! 

It is a good thing that it is expensive otherwise I would eat more!

I have very few other thoughts, but I do have some yummy photos!  You can get them to ship to your home no matter where you live, so beware.  And … if you are ever in the area, stop in … they will give you a sample, and you will spend more than you expected when you walked in the door!

How Should I Be Remembered?

Hot tears stung my eyes and blurred the words on the page. How could this have happened? They swelled over my eyelids and rolled down my cheeks. How could I not have known? As the words came in and out of my vision, understanding fell over me.  Could this be true? No one writes about another person in the past tense unless she is no longer with them. But when? And how?

Some background: In December 1998, I interviewed with four people at Shore Country Day School for a position that I felt I had no chance of being offered but desperately wanted.  Those same four people became my “bosses” when, against all odds, they chose me as the Director of After School and Summer Programming.  Of the four, two of them oversaw my position the most – the Head of the Lower School and the Chief Financial Officer. I later discovered that each of the four had reservations about hiring me (as would I…I was only twenty-five years old at the time), but they also each had reasons to choose me.  The Head of the Lower School and the CFO became wonderful, healing mentors over the next three and a half years as I had left a very unhealthy job situation. Who I am as a worker today is due very much in parts to their mentoring.

Back to present day: I sat in my car outside the car wash on Martin Luther King Jr Day and read the Shore Country Day School bulletin. The school continues to mail it to my Grand Forks address. As I had been in Grand Forks that weekend, the bulletin was in my car. I thought the car wash would be a great time to catch up. Boy, was I wrong!  The bulletin was the 75th Anniversary Edition, and there were highlights of various staff people – all written in the present tense…until I came to the loved Head of Lower School.

I recognized right away that there was a shift in the tense of the article: this article was in past tense. As I drove into the car wash, I read and re-read the article…hoping that I was wrong, grasping at any explanation for the article besides the fact that my mentor had passed away without my knowing.  She had given me a passion for younger children, had taught me patience and understanding, and had showered love on my own children who were toddlers when I started to work there.  She believed in a restorative approach to discipline, but she held them accountable for their actions at the same.  How could she be gone?

After pouring over the article several times and coming to grips with the fact that it was definitely written in past tense, I whipped out my phone and sent an email – through tears that would not stop - to my other mentor, the CFO.  The two women had very different approaches to mentoring me.  While the Head of the Lower School was much like a grandmother, the CFO is like a bulldozer.  I learned efficiency and confidence from her in a trial by fire sort of way.  I remember that I had asked her approval for several purchases within the first month of my hire.  After one too many requests for that approval she told me, “Stacy, you are the director of this program.  You are responsible for the budget, not I.”  Wow!  I learned that she would prefer that I make mistakes and learn how to fix them.  What a gift…

In my email, I apologized, knowing that the email asking about her friend would bring back many memories, but I asked her if what I suspected was true.  Within two hours, she responded.  And I had been right.  By then, I was in the parking lot at the music store where the boy takes guitar lessons.  I again sat in the car as tears stung my cheeks as they ran down my face…sadness overwhelming me at both the knowledge that my mentor had passed away but also at the disappointment that I had not been able to know and mourn with others.

The Head of the Lower School had a tremendous faith in God, and - from what the CFO said in the email – she had come to peace with death as it approached.  In the email, my mentor shared my sentiments, “She taught us all.”  What a great way to remember the life and the death someone!

As I thought about this throughout the week, I have often thought, “What would I want others to say about me when I am gone.”  There is so much that one could say, but that phrase – she taught us all – would be quite a tribute.

What do you think?  What would like to have others say about you when you have passed away?  And what are we doing today to make that possible?

Do I live in a way that I would like to be remembered?

The First 20 Minutes are the Hardest

On Sunday night, the fam headed to our local Snap Fitness.  Yes – it is part of a resolution for some of us, but others were there for the cable television. When we got rid of our cable in August, I do not think that we realized it would propel us to the gym to catch some of our favorite shows…but whatever gets you to the gym, right? After reading my “true fitness” friends’ posts on Facebook about the resolutioners crowding the gyms, I had decided to take the first few weeks off from the gym.  Haha!  Ok – let’s be honest, I had taken four months off from the gym. Rather than moving when my back hurt, I moved less.  Not a good idea.

Needless to say, the return to the gym is a good idea. I have things I want to accomplish this year. I want to do some 5k walks, and I even want to try a 2k run. I would like to drop a few pounds and tone up some not-so-toned parts of my body, I want to have some good cardio health, and I want to do all that I can to ensure that I am mobile well into my 80s like my grandmothers. I know as well as anyone that these things do not happen overnight.

I just did not expect it to hurt so much to start again.

This past summer, I had put in some good time getting myself whipped into shape physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Oddly (at least to me), exercise played a big role in all three of these areas. The physical side is pretty obvious, but the emotional and spiritual sides of me also do better when I move. Walking (I’m not to the running part yet) is a bilateral movement (using right and left sides) and allows my brain to think more openly. There is actually a psychological therapy that uses this with eye movement. I have found that walking does similar things. My mind makes connections and re-wires when I am walking. I find that I think much more clearly when I am walking, and I should have a recording device along with me as I create new systems for work, consider new ways of seeing a problem at home, and just feel better.  Spiritually, I find that God shows me things when I am walking – even if it is on a treadmill.

On Monday morning, when I headed to the gym, God showed me something about perseverance.  On Sunday evening, I had put in nearly an hour on the treadmill. It was grueling for the first twenty minutes. I was angry and upset that I had waited so long. I had a laundry list of reasons why I hated being at the gym…many of these had to do with how I saw my body and how I assumed that everyone else there saw me too.  In my clear thinking, I know that most people do not really care about how I look – they probably do not even think about me at all.  After I got past the first twenty minutes, I did not even think about any of this either…but I did not realize it.

Monday morning, though, it was so clear to me that the first twenty minutes were the key to my success.  I just had to get through the first twenty minutes…after that, I could have gone for an hour or two hours – if I would not have promised to do some fun things with the girl all day.  Seriously, it was amazing! At ten minutes, I just wanted to get off of the treadmill and leave the gym.  I was angry and upset (again) and came up with a huge laundry list of reasons why this exercise thing was not going to work.  At the 19:02 mark, though, something switched, and I found that I was unhappy that the work out was going to end in the near future.

I am going to apply this twenty minute theory to a few other things in my life and see if makes a difference.  If I get past the twenty minute mark of a craving (when I am not truly hungry), can I go until I am truly hungry?  If I can get past the twenty minute mark on a project, will I suddenly be free to finish the project even if it takes hours?  If I get past the twenty minute mark of cleaning the house, will I want to finish and clean the whole thing?

I will report back in a week or two and let you all know what I find.  What do you think about this theory? Is there some research to support it?

Social Media Helps with Homework

I realize that the title alone is somewhat controversial. Now that we all spend hours upon hours with our Facebook, Twitter, and blog worlds open on our screens, iPads, iPods, or phones, it is hard to argue that we might have better relationships with our screens than anyone with flesh. However, this past week I had my eyes opened to the amazing advantage that all of this screen time can have for students with the right connections in social media.

Let me explain.

The girl’s English class is currently reading and discussing the famed Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

An aside: I am shocked that they have not read 1984 first as I did.  Mrs. Fischer’s order of reading books is the right way to read books. I can guarantee that all of my high school friends would agree with me on this one. We read 1984 first; all of education world should do so as well.  Sorry…digression!

Back to the girl: over the weekend, she had an assignment to find a non-fiction article with content related to Brave New World.  She had no problem with that thanks to my Twitter relationship with the Fargo Forum. Earlier in the week, because the huz and the boy were out of town leaving us to fend for ourselves, the girl and I had eaten dinner at a restaurant. During that time, I had checked on Twitter and found an article about sex education standards through the Fargo Forum’s feed. I went to the link and read excerpts of it to the girl who shared my outrage by saying, “Mom – it is just like in Brave New World.”  Two days later, she came home with the assignment mentioned above, and she asked me for the link to the entire article.

Regardless of how we feel about students reading Brave New World, how we feel about sex education standards, or how we feel about the overuse of social media, we cannot argue that my Twitter connection saved the girl hours of hunting on the internet for the perfect article for her assignment. We do not need to revisit the horrors and evils of the internet; that is someone else’s article. When used responsibly, Facebook and Twitter can be great connections as evidences by the example shared here. In addition to helping with homework, they can be great ways to find rides to pick up our car at the repair shop, costumes for a musical, and helpers with a volunteer event.  Yes – all of these have been used by yours truly.  Additionally, they can be great ways to promote products or events. What other venue allows me to touch over 700 people who might retweet to their 700 friends?

Before I sound like an internet use extremist, I want to be clear about how I view it.  Do I think that parents should look over their children’s shoulders, put website tracking stuff on the computers, and invade their privacy?  Yes! In fact, I think a “no privacy” rule should be enforced. No one under 18 is allowed to have a cell phone contract; that contract is in their parents’ names – that means that parents are responsible for all texting, etc., that their children do. Invade away! No one under 18 is allowed to purchase internet connections; that connection is in their parents’ names – that means that parents are responsible to know and monitor what is going on through that connection.  Invade away!

As in most issues that we face, the problem is not the technology itself but rather the ways that we have trained ourselves and the younger generation to use it.  Last week, I was reminded again that technology is a valuable tool.  And my Twitter connections are mighty useful!  Thanks, Fargo Forum,  for helping out with my daughter’s homework.

Mourning Continues at Caribou

Last week, I went to my local Caribou as the huz, the girl, and the boy wanted coffee.  I wanted to purchase my personal beverage of choice as well, and there happens to be several convenience stores between my house and the Caribou headquarters store…which just so happens to be the closest and best Caribou around.  Imagine that!

I was super happy to discover that Caribou thinks very highly of itself and promoted its latest “big deal” moment – becoming a Rainforest Alliance Certified coffee distributor.  Do you know what that means?  Well, because I did not, I had to find out…Google to the rescue!  According to the website for the Rainforest Alliance, “Farms that meet the comprehensive criteria of the Sustainable Agriculture Network earn the right to use the Rainforest Alliance Certified™ seal.”  In case you are wondering, Dunn Bros Coffee has this but Starbucks does not.  The Rainforest Alliance website has a list of all of the companies.

The bigger deal of the day hit me smack dab in the middle of my head after I had ordered and moved to the pick up counter.  I turned to my right and saw the sign below.

I believe that I am a horrible person for thinking the first thought I had when I saw this which was, “Sure must be nice to be able to have coffee with your mom. Count your blessings, Jennifer.”  I cannot believe that I just admitted that on the internet, but I am going to leave it. Some people are under the illusion that I am a nice person.  Not always true!

My next thought was sort of melancholy as I thought about how cool it would be to have written that myself.  I then realized that I could have easily written something to that effect except that I do not like coffee, but Caribou does serve my favorite beverage (just be sure to finish it before leaving the shop otherwise you realize that it is coffee-flavored Coca-Cola once you are outside). In fact, I am quite sure that we frequented Caribou in the few months before Mom passed away when she would come to visit us.

Mom was a coffee drinker. When she would visit us on the East Coast while the huz was in seminary and “her grandchildren” (aka – the girl and the boy) were young, she would always find a place with coffee.  There is a gas station off of one of the exits on Route 128 in Massachusetts where I recall quite vividly that Mom purchased a coffee drink and shared it with the girl.  Guess what?  The girl LOVES coffee…she even has a personal one cup coffee machine so that she can take her mug to school.  Thanks, Mom. 

Mourning, even after over eight years, finds me in the strangest places. Grief is the unwelcome visitor that creeps in the recesses of our minds. We may not notice it all of the time, but it is there…waiting…watching…and then barreling out of hiding with a zinger – like in a simple memory written on a chalk board in a Caribou Coffee shop.

I did not cry.  I did have that nasty catch in the back of my throat and the hot tears flaming in my eyes…but no tear spillage.  I gulped hard and smiled…knowing that memories are good, that lost future memories are not to be, and that hope comes in the morning – on that glorious day when Christ returns, brings all mourning to an end, and reunites us all with each other as well as Himself.

Praise be to God!

A Sermon for All Seasons

As the wife of a Baptist pastor, I spend most of my Sunday mornings in one of the first three pews of Faith Baptist Church in North Minneapolis where I listen to the huz share from the Word.  This is a blessing and a curse.  I am blessed to know that he is an awesome pastor…and that is a statement I make objectively as one who has listened to many sermons.  It is a curse because I know a lot about sermons and theology – it sort of overflows into my life as his wife – and this makes me a sermon critic. I have very little patience for a bad sermon.

Yesterday morning, I was blessed to hear a sermon by Pastor Rick Nelson at the Central Lutheran Church in downtown Minneapolis because relatives were in town accompanying the Grand Cities Choir – a group of 7th-9th grade students who performed three songs as part of the service yesterday morning.  They were a seamless, but fabulous, addition to the very traditional, liturgical Lutheran service.  As a former Presbyterian turned Baptist with Catholic, Methodist, and Lutheran relatives, I speak almost any church language and am pretty well-versed in most liturgies.

Yesterday was not about liturgies but about a word spoken into my life.

Who is Jesus and what does that mean for us?  Pastor Rick talked about meeting someone for coffee and discussing all of the possibilities of who Jesus was, who other religions say He was, and then who He ultimately is and was and what that means for us. Pastor Rick stated that almost everyone – even atheists – admire Jesus for some reason. He could be a moral example to many.  He could be seen as a liberator for others.  Pastor Rick shared that he himself grew up with an image of Jesus as friend (he even sang a line from “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”).

He then stated that all of that is true and that it leads us all – whether a believer or not – to admire Jesus.  The difference is that Jesus was not just a man; He was God Himself in the flesh who came to earth to take on all that we as humans are and will be in our sin.  And this does not lead to admiration – this leads to worship.  We do not worship Jesus because He was a great moral example or a liberator.  We worship Him because He is God.

Jesus is God, so we worship Him.

And that – as the pastor huz has often says - preaches.

Will You Go or Will You Send?

Yesterday was a chaotic but great day.  The girl and I zoomed home from Grand Forks as the boy and the huz zoomed home from Sioux Falls.  We all had one destination: the missions conference at a sister church where over 14 missionaries represented over different 14 mission fields.  As the pastor’s family of a North American Baptist Church, we are familiar with many of the missionaries – many are actually good friends.  This was an event we would not miss!

For two hours, we roamed Riverview Baptist Church who hosted the event and enjoyed conversations with friends – new and old.  At 5 p.m., we sat down to an international buffet with food from Russia, Jamaica, Africa, and Central America.  It was simply de-lish.  Better than the food (no offense to the cooks), however, were the testimonies of five missionaries who have answered the call into missions…they go on our behalf to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ in countries around the world.  We knew everyone who shared, and that made me happy!

Doug Woyke, a now retired career missionary to Japan (where only 1% of the population claims to be Christian), shared the final words.  His words have stayed with me throughout the night and into this morning.  He referenced Romans 10:14-15 which says, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵ And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

For a few minutes, he elaborated on the joy he has had in being one who had gone.  He also thanked those who had sent his wife and him. (ps: We should have been the ones thanking them for sacrificing on our behalf for 40 years)  His closing words – some have to go; some have to send – have really stayed with me. There is not a third choice.  We either are sent or are the senders. And – at times – perhaps we are both.  The mission fields are not only in far off countries but could be in the house next to ours as someone needs to hear the Good News, perhaps for the first time.

As a mother, this hits home pretty hard. I do not hold any misconceptions that my children are my own; I know that they belong to God first, and that He has a call on their lives. If that means they will be called to go to some far-off place, I must be willing to send. I knew that before last night, but it was a good reminder as their graduation from high school comes in two years four months and three weeks from today.  But who is counting, really?

That just does not seem like enough time for me to pray for myself to let them go if they are called let alone enough time for me to pray for them to hear the call when it comes…

Sioux, Yeah Yeah…

You know what to say now, right?  If you don’t, do a Google search of the title and do some reading (even better – just go to a game at “The Ralph” sometime).  The cheer is unique to the University of North Dakota and is much more fun than “Let’s Go, Sioux!” because it cannot be replicated or taken over.  I don’t think “gopher Yeah Yeah” sounds cool at all.  Especially not when you consider that they would have to answer “Yeah gopher gopher.”  *vomit*  Reading some other blogs about the cheer I found that people have used this in the crowds at Final Five games and other areas around the country as a way to identify other fans.  How cool is that?

Alone at center ice is the true logo of the *team formerly known as*  Sioux – the center of all discussion right now.  When the team took the ice last night to the sound of “Here come your University of North Dakota…", the crowd took over and finished where the announcer left off – “FIGHTING SIOUX!”

And the crowd goes wild! All night long – wild!!!!

The rivalry between the Sioux and the Gophers is old…as much a part of UND hockey as the Sioux name itself. Part of who we are is gopher “haters.”  Let’s be honest – we can’t be gopher “dislikers.”  It’s haters.  I have been asked what it is like to live in gopher country, and my response is usually, “I don’t live in gopher country.  There are as many Sioux fans in Minneapolis as there are gopher fans.” 

 

It’s warmer in Minneapolis…

A lone gopher fan in our section – yep, he got razzed quite a bit.

We had a great night!  We had great seats – any seat in the Ralph would be great, especially for a Sioux-gopher game. 

We won!

And – I got a tour of the sound, video, and more areas – three levels of fun. I got to learn about how the fireworks go off when the Sioux score.  Wow!  And…all of this because of someone text-bombing my phone (you know who you are) and trash talking my Sioux.

That makes no sense, right?  Ok – so a friend was texting trash, and I had to return in kind. My phone was low on battery when we got to the game, but it was ready to die at the end of the second period.  My dad knows the video guy and thought he might have a cell phone charger, so we went for a visit during the intermission.  While my phone charged, I got a tour.  I was GIDDY!  I love feeling like a VIP, and I most certainly felt like a VIP for those 10 minutes.

We returned to our seats and enjoyed the BEST period of hockey I have experienced at the Ralph in a long time.  Sa-weetness!  Take that, gophers.  By the way, the girl was disturbed by the fan ritual of throwing dead gophers onto the ice.  I am so used to it that it never even occurred to me that she might find it traumatic.  I learned that tonight.

Ramble over….over and out – the game tonight should ROCK!

Note: yes, I am ridiculously and irrationally passionate about Fighting Sioux hockey. It is in my blood.  There is definitely a huge amount of nurture and conditioning when it comes to this area of my life.  Stepping back, I know that this does not square with who I am in most parts of my life.  I will not excuse it, nor will I justify it.  If you grew up with the pins of Archibald (who still holds the record for the number of minutes in the penalty box) and Jenson on your pillow every night when you went to sleep, you would feel the same way.  Just ask my junior high bff; she knows what I’m talking about.

Sioux, Yeah Yeah!!!

What Sign Should You Wear?

Earlier this week, after having a few days of stupid people run-ins, I needed a little comic relief and watched a few videos on Youtube – you know, the guy with “the sign” routine. It was wonderful. I literally sat in my office and laughed out loud…yes, my co-workers were gone already.  I realize that this man has some raunchy routines, but everything I heard was clean, hilarious, and right on the money. It made me feel as if I had it pretty good when it comes to the stupid people with whom I had interacted all week.

Why is it so easy to be stupid?

Ok…maybe this question is not really worth examining.  However, it is so easy for us to see the faults in other people while missing the faults that we have ourselves. On one particular day this past week, I found that pretty much everyone I ran into could have used a sign for their faulty behavior.  It seemed endless.  Oh that the day would end!

What kind of signs?

Inconsiderate – here’s your sign.

Rude – here’s your sign.

Unfortunate mishap of creation – here’s your sign.

Lacking common sense – here’s your sign.

Apathetic – here’s your sign.

Pathetic – here’s your sign.

The more I saw the signs, the more I started looking for them.  Not only that, but I am pretty sure that I saw some signs in people who really would not have had signs if the person before them had not had a sign.  Eventually, all I could see that day was the people’s signs…the people sort of faded into the background as I just saw sign after sign.  I literally started writing out post-it notes and wanted to hand them through the telephone line or computer screen to people.  I must have been a real treat that day.  I’m impressed that not a single person has complained to my superior; maybe I put on a good front?

And in the midst of all this sign-assigning, I am pretty sure that I had quite a few signs that people could have given me.  Let’s see, there would be inconsiderate, rude, unfortunate mishap of creation, lacking common sense, apathetic, and downright pathetic.  The inability to see my own faults heightened as I focused on those of others.  In addition, even though I claim to be a rather compassionate person, I lost all compassion – I was just seeing signs.  Without seeing the people, I made some cold decisions.  I might have even said something to the effect of “you caught me on the wrong day.”  Amazing, really.  I might as well have said, “You see, I lack the ability to see you as a unique individual because I have clumped you in with someone else.”  That is called transference…

What sign should I wear today?

I would like very much to clothe myself in righteousness rather than self-righteousness.

I would like very much to clothe myself in kindness rather than rudeness.

I would like very much to clothe myself in empathy rather than apathy.

I would like very much to recognize that my signs are often negative, that I need to see my own signs, and that I should right my own wrongs before getting all haughty about the wrongs of others. 

This past week, the signs that I attributed to others allowed me to ignore my own signs and inflict pain on others.  Instead of seeing rudeness in the person, I should have heard their frustration with the broken social service system of their county.  Instead of seeing their lack of consideration for my time, I should have heard that they work two jobs in order to house and feed their family. Instead of seeing their apathy, I should have heard that they are overwhelmed as single moms raising kids on their own in a schooling system that is different than what they knew as children.

“Every needs compassion, the kindness of a Savior…” (Mighty to Save by Hillsong)

Qualities of Successful Online Students

Last Thursday, I wrote a post about online schools in Minnesota and the validity of their educational model. At the end of my brief thought (929 words), I offered to answer questions in later posts if readers would post questions in the comment section. Today’s post is a response to one of those questions.

I would like to thank the reader who asked, “Can you please describe qualities of a student that make him/her either a good or not so good candidate for online schooling?”

Parents are key.  The one quality that I see in successful students in the online setting has less to do with the students and much more to do with the parents.  The more involved the parents are in the oversight of the students’ progress, scheduling, and prioritization, the more successful the students are in online programming.  If parents see the online situation as one that allows for the students to put in hours of babysitting younger siblings, cleaning the house, or working outside of the home, the students will not see school as a priority and will also lack the support needed to complete the online. 

There is a lot of reading in the online setting.  Although this is becoming less of a necessity as curriculum authors integrate more screen readers and audio/visual aspects in the online curriculum, text remains the primary vehicle of getting information from author to student.  In addition, email and instant messaging/chat rooms are primary sources for students gaining help and engaging in discussions with teachers and other students.  Those who struggle with grade level reading may struggle with the online setting.  With the entry of screen readers into the education world, this has decreased some but not enough to leave this concern behind. If students do not like to read, they may not enjoy learning online.

But there is more.  The more descript answer to this question truly is another brief post.  Unfortunately, some of the same qualities that make students great candidates for success in any classroom are what make them candidates for success in the online classroom.  Self-discipline, motivation, and the ability to work well with little guidance are three necessary qualities that come to mind right away when I hear this question.  And the same qualities that limit a student’s success in the traditional classroom will limit that student in the online classroom: lack of self-discipline, easily distracted, and unable to work well without constant redirection.

Does this mean that students without motivation should stay away from the online school setting?  No.  Any student can change patterns and become more appropriate in the online setting.

An illustration of a change in success would do well to prove this point. 

As I have mentioned previously, my role as dean of students at Minnesota Virtual High School is to work with students who are not attending and help them to become in attendance by submitting assignments and making progress toward full course completion.  If they do not improve their attendance, I report them to their county of residence and let a social worker, county attorney, or judge assist me.  Sometimes this means that students learn how to be successful online students, and other times it means that they return to the traditional school with a daily (hourly) structure, constant in-person supervision, and more direction.  Each student is unique, and it is my job to remember that.

About two months ago, I went to a diversion meeting for a middle school student who, at the time, logged on each week for about six hours.  We recommend that students put in 25 hours each week in order to be successful.  At the meeting, the student had many reasons (excuses) for not logging on to school, but the social worker did not accept any of those.  We told the student he could have three months to turn around his behavior or be ordered to go to traditional middle school each day.  For the first few weeks, the student’s behavior did not change.  The social worker made inquiries into the student’s progress, and I shared his progress with her.  We engaged the parent who was overwhelmed with this new way of doing school.

Because the student could not create a plan for himself and because his parent could not do this either, I created the plan.  Our software actually does this for the students, but that – for some reason – was not enough for this student.  To be honest, many students find the calendar difficult.  And once a student is as far behind as this student, the calendar would feel overwhelming to anyone.  Imagine not doing any schoolwork for the first half of the year and now having to do twice as much work in order to finish.  This would intimidate most adults – and this child is in middle school!

I printed out the class outlines for the student, divided the assignments by the days left in the semester, and assigned work to the student each day until the last day in the semester.  I paced the student to focus on one class at a time (because the student was so far behind) so that he could see successful completion of courses one at a time…cross the completed course off the list and feel good about it.

The outcome? We are now a week from the end of the semester, and the student should complete all but possibly one class – the art class.  I wanted to focus on math and language arts classes rather than electives. If anything is not complete, we can deal with the art class.  And the student can always take the art class during the summer as we are a year-round school.

When I emailed the mom and social worker to see if we needed to meet again, the answer was “no.”  The county will remove the student from their truancy intervention program as soon as our semester ends.  The student and the parent feel good about how to proceed now that they know how much time and effort it takes to complete school in the online setting. The student would rather be in our setting than the traditional setting because of a bullying situation (some kids put a snake in his locker!) at the school where he would attend.

This student made a choice to change his behavior.  Although that is not always the case, it can be done.  Students who come to the online setting with self-discipline, motivation, and a hardworking attitude will do well.  Students who lack those qualities can definitely change their behavior.  If they do not change, then we counsel them back to a setting that will support them more appropriately.

I Resolve…

It is now 11 days into the new year. 

Many resolutions have been made – most about better health - and just as many have already gone by the wayside. Facebook and Twitter were full of stuff about resolutions being made, about the impacts of "new resolutioners" at the gyms, and about resolutions being broken.  Friends have blog posts about resolutions, and I have read them. I even had a post about resolutions titled “Fresh Start – Again.”  It is a great think to think about – the new year, resolutions, and changes.

As the first few weeks of the new year have brought our resolutions down to reality, we start to wonder what we did.  Why did we make this decision? What was this all about? And how will we ever follow through on them?  Rather than share some lofty ideas with readers, I would prefer to share the my various findings of the term “resolve” and then a couple of blogs that I have found encouraging as I shape the resolutions I have made into the more realistic thinks I would like to call life.

When I looked up the meaning of “resolve” in the dictionary, I found a whole bunch of meanings.  The parts of speech are interesting alone!! 

Fourteen of the meanings are transitive verbs. This means that the subject of the sentence acts when the term resolve occurs.  I resolve could also mean I make a firm decision about this, I cause this, I decide this, I change this, or I remove something.  In each of these cases, the subject of the sentence ( I ) acts.  I resolve.  I act in this way.  I do something.

Three of the meanings are intransitive verbs. This means that the subject of the sentence is acted up on by some other force – the resolution.  In music, for example, the piece undergoes a resolution.  In cooking, the ingredients are resolved (separated).  In this case the resolving happens to the subject rather than the subject acting (resolving).

Three meanings of the word resolve are nouns – person, place, thing, or idea.  I have made a resolution.  It is a noun in the sentence.  The definitions include a firmness of purpose, a decision, and a formal decision to act by a legislative or deliberative body (such as Congress).

My cuz-in-love, Elise, is a fashion queen, small business owner, artist, and sweet spirit.  She is witty, encouraging, and has a great sense of humor.  She is married to a man who shares many of those qualities and is a dear friend as well as cousin.  Her blog post yesterday – “Little Resolutions” -  was divine intervention for me, and I think readers would love her ideas.

My friend, Cindy, is a deep reader of the Bible.  She challenges all around her to see things the way God would want us to see them.  Her blog posts, though infrequent, are inspiring.  Her most recent post -  “One Word” – has kept me thinking since reading it and has truly allowed me to sense where my resolutions fit into this philosophy.

My friend, Marilyn, is the one whose blog posts in 2011 spurred me into blogging myself.  Yes – you can blame her.   Her posts on Jan 1 – “I’ll Miss It or Good Riddance” – and Jan 2  - “2012 – It’s All About the Interpreter” – were visionary posts for me.  Marilyn’s method of drawing me in as a reader and then lighting off a zinger that goes straight to the heart is one that I would like to replicate but doubt that I can master.

So far, I have failed at many of my resolutions. Behavior change is hard!  I think, though, that it comes from a couple of things.

1. The first is that I have made these before without much success, so I just make them again because I should. They are not about the simple things like loving my family or giving thanks.  They are about me.
2. The second reason is because I have not seen the resolution-making process one of deliberative choice to act.  I have expected that they will passively come about without any real choice on my part. 
3. And the final reason is because I have not asked God to join me in being the Interpreter of my choices, my words, and my actions.  For that matter, I have not even asked Him to give me the strength to do these things even though I am quite sure that He would like me to succeed in each of the choices – for His glory, not mine.

How are readers doing with their resolutions? What is the most helpful to you?