We are in Aberdeen, SD, tonight visiting Kerry's mom and dad for a few days. And then we head to Grand Forks, ND, for a few days with my dad and Janet.
These are good times...savor family moments...that is what we are to do....
Tonight - many people are on my heart...prayer burdens. Remember to keep your loved ones (family or not....) in prayer...hold them to the Father's ear. I don't completely understand the mystery of prayer....perhaps it does as much for us....
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Making Room for God
This morning at practice, the music team was just off. The musician, thankfully, were doing great, but the singers - at least me and another person - were just off. It was awful. We really could not get one song - He Reigns - down AT ALL.
When we quit practicing as people started to enter the church, I walked through the sanctuary and said to a friend, "We are having a really rough time."
Another person had a similar experience, but the response they received was, "Well, where else can God work?" That's exactly it, isn't it? When we "practice" Christianity, do we ever perfect it? And if we did, where would God work?
When we quit practicing as people started to enter the church, I walked through the sanctuary and said to a friend, "We are having a really rough time."
Another person had a similar experience, but the response they received was, "Well, where else can God work?" That's exactly it, isn't it? When we "practice" Christianity, do we ever perfect it? And if we did, where would God work?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Keeping Commitments
I just said to my husband, "Sure enough. As soon as I commit to a blog a day, I quit blogging." I said this to him as we were about to fold a last minute load of laundry before Sunday. *Groan* I know - how romantic! :) He said, "Go blog." So - here I am...back on the blogging wagon. I might have to give myself tomorrow off as it is a busy day...Sunday...busy? But that is another blog topic...I digress....
After being married now for 13 years, you would think that I have mastered an ability to keep commitments long-term. That being said, however, marriage is one of the few things that I have ever committed to that I have stuck to....
Something I commit to each night before I go to bed is to stop drinking Coke. Both my husband and my friend Anita give me a hard time about this. Sometimes they become my watch dogs and even take the Coke away from me or prevent me from ordering it at a restaurant. Coke is bad for me; I know it is. It has ripped up my stomach, my intestinal track, and it is rotting my teeth. I have been hospitalized 3 times for kidney stones; diagnosis - too much Coke and dehydration (also a direct issue from Coke as it dehydrates, and I don't drink water if I drink too much Coke). I know that it is bad for me; I need to give it up. I commit to quitting; I reduce the amount that I drink; I tell my son not to buy me one in the morning even though he knows that I will beg him to walk down the alley to Steamworks and buy me one (for $.86!!!!). But I don't quit...I allow myself to remain in this stupid cycle. What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"? What happened to overcoming evil by doing good?
So...then...this brings me to another thought...my commitment to Christ. I have realized recently (through the leadership center stuff mentioned in another blog entry) that my commitment to Christ is terribly weak. However, for some reason, God's commitment to me is quite strong. He brings me into His presence no matter what road I have chosen to travel - even ones completely outside of His will for me. He brings healing to my soul after bringing me face to face with my own depravity and the depravity of others in my life. Why?
So often we question why bad things happen to us when we think, for the most part, we are pretty good people. Why do bad things happen to good people? is a question that many struggle with - especially when being faced with the concept of surrending their life to Christ. In actuality, we are pretty bad people. I don't mean this to put anyone else down - really. But let's face it - we are selfish, self-seeking, self-fulfilling beings who are truly anything but good. The question really isn't why bad things happen to good people....the question really should be why do good things happen to me? Why would God seek to bring things to me...when all I really am is an unfaithful wretch?
Truth: Jesus loves me this I know - for the Bible tells me so.
Beyond understanding: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound - that saved a wretch like me.
How: I am forgiven because He was forsaken; I'm accepted - He was condemned. I'm alive and well; His spirit lives within me...because He died and rose again.
Some verses in the Bible address this (see below). Seek Him; seek His plans for you - for they give you a hope and a future. Amen.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Verses are taken from the NIV version.
After being married now for 13 years, you would think that I have mastered an ability to keep commitments long-term. That being said, however, marriage is one of the few things that I have ever committed to that I have stuck to....
Something I commit to each night before I go to bed is to stop drinking Coke. Both my husband and my friend Anita give me a hard time about this. Sometimes they become my watch dogs and even take the Coke away from me or prevent me from ordering it at a restaurant. Coke is bad for me; I know it is. It has ripped up my stomach, my intestinal track, and it is rotting my teeth. I have been hospitalized 3 times for kidney stones; diagnosis - too much Coke and dehydration (also a direct issue from Coke as it dehydrates, and I don't drink water if I drink too much Coke). I know that it is bad for me; I need to give it up. I commit to quitting; I reduce the amount that I drink; I tell my son not to buy me one in the morning even though he knows that I will beg him to walk down the alley to Steamworks and buy me one (for $.86!!!!). But I don't quit...I allow myself to remain in this stupid cycle. What happened to "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"? What happened to overcoming evil by doing good?
So...then...this brings me to another thought...my commitment to Christ. I have realized recently (through the leadership center stuff mentioned in another blog entry) that my commitment to Christ is terribly weak. However, for some reason, God's commitment to me is quite strong. He brings me into His presence no matter what road I have chosen to travel - even ones completely outside of His will for me. He brings healing to my soul after bringing me face to face with my own depravity and the depravity of others in my life. Why?
So often we question why bad things happen to us when we think, for the most part, we are pretty good people. Why do bad things happen to good people? is a question that many struggle with - especially when being faced with the concept of surrending their life to Christ. In actuality, we are pretty bad people. I don't mean this to put anyone else down - really. But let's face it - we are selfish, self-seeking, self-fulfilling beings who are truly anything but good. The question really isn't why bad things happen to good people....the question really should be why do good things happen to me? Why would God seek to bring things to me...when all I really am is an unfaithful wretch?
Truth: Jesus loves me this I know - for the Bible tells me so.
Beyond understanding: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound - that saved a wretch like me.
How: I am forgiven because He was forsaken; I'm accepted - He was condemned. I'm alive and well; His spirit lives within me...because He died and rose again.
Some verses in the Bible address this (see below). Seek Him; seek His plans for you - for they give you a hope and a future. Amen.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Verses are taken from the NIV version.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
A blog a day keeps the doctor away....
I have committed to posting some thought each day. I truly believe that this will be beneficial to my sanity. In a sense, it is the musings of my soul. In another, they may just be the senseless ramblings of someone who should go to bed earlier, get up earlier, and work on a laptop less.
But I must to stick to the topic - which is really "journalling" - for that is what a blog really is, correct? Journalling is something that I have done off and on throughout the years. It typically begins at a rough spot in my life (of which there have been a few) and ends when I have overcome. What is interesting about my recent journalling is that they have come from the assignment of a leadership development group in which I have participated over the past 2 years. Each week we were to write 3 journal entries, and we were to interact with the material and Biblical texts. This began an entirely different type of journalling for me. Rather than focusing on me, my life, and...well...me, as I was used to, I was to focus on material that challenged me in ways that undid the fabric of a tightly woven shell. I had created this shell fairly subconsciously, but God began to make me very conscious of it as we delved into material concerning integrity, honesty, prayer, and spiritual growth.
In the middle of year 1, we wrote and shared our "personal narrative" - the story of God at work in our lives. Wow! What an experience. To look back at critical incidents which developed, shaped, and molded me was awesome. More than that, though, I was overwhelmed with a sense of God's preservation of my life, my mind, and my heart even in times when I was (as I would say it) rebellious or (as another would say it) "wandering and wondering." This undoing of the shell began in about October 2006...and God has been working very hard on me since then to bring healing to my heart and soul in spite of and, to some degree I do believe, because of the "doings" of my own choosing and the incidents that occurred around me and to me.
Whether it be a blog, a journal, or scraps of paper, some record of our thoughts may be beneficial for ourselves in the future. Musings of the mind can be capturing...we can get lost inside of ourselves.
In a sense this blog is a prayer...taking the musings out of my own mind. When we lift them up and out of our minds to God who desires to come and sit in our corners with us....that is what is of benefit to us. Sharing them with another person also can have a similar balming effect on our souls...musings said out loud lose the power to control us. The thoughts that are fears are particularly true in this area. What if I told you this horrid thing about me? How would you react?
The amazing thing about God is that He knows those horrid things about me...and He shines His love through them, over them, and beyond them...and He draws me into the healing waters that create peaceful lakes within our souls....
But I must to stick to the topic - which is really "journalling" - for that is what a blog really is, correct? Journalling is something that I have done off and on throughout the years. It typically begins at a rough spot in my life (of which there have been a few) and ends when I have overcome. What is interesting about my recent journalling is that they have come from the assignment of a leadership development group in which I have participated over the past 2 years. Each week we were to write 3 journal entries, and we were to interact with the material and Biblical texts. This began an entirely different type of journalling for me. Rather than focusing on me, my life, and...well...me, as I was used to, I was to focus on material that challenged me in ways that undid the fabric of a tightly woven shell. I had created this shell fairly subconsciously, but God began to make me very conscious of it as we delved into material concerning integrity, honesty, prayer, and spiritual growth.
In the middle of year 1, we wrote and shared our "personal narrative" - the story of God at work in our lives. Wow! What an experience. To look back at critical incidents which developed, shaped, and molded me was awesome. More than that, though, I was overwhelmed with a sense of God's preservation of my life, my mind, and my heart even in times when I was (as I would say it) rebellious or (as another would say it) "wandering and wondering." This undoing of the shell began in about October 2006...and God has been working very hard on me since then to bring healing to my heart and soul in spite of and, to some degree I do believe, because of the "doings" of my own choosing and the incidents that occurred around me and to me.
Whether it be a blog, a journal, or scraps of paper, some record of our thoughts may be beneficial for ourselves in the future. Musings of the mind can be capturing...we can get lost inside of ourselves.
In a sense this blog is a prayer...taking the musings out of my own mind. When we lift them up and out of our minds to God who desires to come and sit in our corners with us....that is what is of benefit to us. Sharing them with another person also can have a similar balming effect on our souls...musings said out loud lose the power to control us. The thoughts that are fears are particularly true in this area. What if I told you this horrid thing about me? How would you react?
The amazing thing about God is that He knows those horrid things about me...and He shines His love through them, over them, and beyond them...and He draws me into the healing waters that create peaceful lakes within our souls....
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Happy Birthday, Anita!
Now I will have to send Anita a link to this blog...she wouldn't just happen upon this herself.
Tonight I had the opportunity to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend. It was great to surprise her and be a part of a group of ladies whose sole purpose this evening was to ensure the celebration of her life. Although we are separated by more than 30 years in age, we are sisters in Christ...family. And that is an amazing reality. I have been blessed to know Anita since we arrived in Minneapolis, but in the recent years, she has been a true blessing as mentor and dear friend.
What causes us to choose to enter the life of another person? Why do we intersect in such a meaningful way with some but not with others? What is it about the words of certain people that cut through the crap inside of our hearts and allow us to hear the voice of truth?
Certain relationships have an impact on our lives that we cannot always put into words...even as a "wordy" person, I am struggling to describe this...and therein lies the rub, really. For if we cannot describe the way another impacts us, how can we duplicate the experience and do the same for others? And the real question is this....can this happen without the impact of Christ in our own lives?
Tonight I had the opportunity to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend. It was great to surprise her and be a part of a group of ladies whose sole purpose this evening was to ensure the celebration of her life. Although we are separated by more than 30 years in age, we are sisters in Christ...family. And that is an amazing reality. I have been blessed to know Anita since we arrived in Minneapolis, but in the recent years, she has been a true blessing as mentor and dear friend.
What causes us to choose to enter the life of another person? Why do we intersect in such a meaningful way with some but not with others? What is it about the words of certain people that cut through the crap inside of our hearts and allow us to hear the voice of truth?
Certain relationships have an impact on our lives that we cannot always put into words...even as a "wordy" person, I am struggling to describe this...and therein lies the rub, really. For if we cannot describe the way another impacts us, how can we duplicate the experience and do the same for others? And the real question is this....can this happen without the impact of Christ in our own lives?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Marriage is a good idea
Thank God for the fact that He created marriage. While I definitely don't want to alienate the single friends that I have...I just have to say how happy I am that I am married. There is nothing greater in my life. While I still maintain the need for other relationships and know that they are important, I am thankful that I am married to a man - who though flawed himself - can look at my flaws and still love me completely and with so much grace.
Today may have been one of the best days of my life. Sleeping in until nearly noon. Cleaning my house some...shopping some...working very little...great dinner...great music at church with exceptional musicians desiring to impact others for Christ...decent movie...time with my husband. What more could I want? Now...let's hope for sleep.
Today may have been one of the best days of my life. Sleeping in until nearly noon. Cleaning my house some...shopping some...working very little...great dinner...great music at church with exceptional musicians desiring to impact others for Christ...decent movie...time with my husband. What more could I want? Now...let's hope for sleep.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wanderings and Wonderings - The Phrase Does not Belong to Me
I'm amazed at how our lives intersect with the lives of others. We rarely have control over the arrival of a new person in our lives. Someone else is almost always responsible for the "new person's" arrival. Someone else...and God, really. right?? And once that person arrives, our lives are forever changed...often in ways that are more numerous than we can count. Perhaps it is our perspective on life. Perhaps it is how we interact with others. Perhaps it is in how we approach change. Or - it could be all of it. Perhaps - it is just gaining a phrase that then can define us...in a way that finally fits.
Wandering and wondering...that is who I am.
The most fascinating intersection occurred recently in my life. I would be remiss to take any credit for the intersection. One friend mentioned the name of another woman - almost in passing she said, "You should contact (this person) ." I didn't know this person, had never heard the name before, but my friend said I should contact her. I respect my friend; she is a wise woman. After mulling over the name and praying a bit about what this was, I decided to contact her and see what God was up to this time - for He most certainly was up to something; I could tell. Amazingly, the internet makes it possible to contact just about anyone as long as you have a few identifiers...where someone works usually does the trick as it did with this particular intersection. http://www.placethispersonworks.com/ - and there she is...or at least an email address. It was in the contacting email...the first unexpected interaction...that the phrase - wanderings and wonderings - emerged. She said it in a way that resonated so deeply in my heart that I wanted to meet her just so I could put a face and voice to the phrase. And I did...and God spoke. And now I wait to see what He will do next. I don't know what is next.
I'm waiting...wondering...
Wandering and wondering...that is who I am.
The most fascinating intersection occurred recently in my life. I would be remiss to take any credit for the intersection. One friend mentioned the name of another woman - almost in passing she said, "You should contact (this person) ." I didn't know this person, had never heard the name before, but my friend said I should contact her. I respect my friend; she is a wise woman. After mulling over the name and praying a bit about what this was, I decided to contact her and see what God was up to this time - for He most certainly was up to something; I could tell. Amazingly, the internet makes it possible to contact just about anyone as long as you have a few identifiers...where someone works usually does the trick as it did with this particular intersection. http://www.placethispersonworks.com/ - and there she is...or at least an email address. It was in the contacting email...the first unexpected interaction...that the phrase - wanderings and wonderings - emerged. She said it in a way that resonated so deeply in my heart that I wanted to meet her just so I could put a face and voice to the phrase. And I did...and God spoke. And now I wait to see what He will do next. I don't know what is next.
I'm waiting...wondering...
Beginning Thoughts
Hmmm...yes, I am an English teacher, but I do love the appeal of a rambling blog. And now that I have mastered grammatical "stuff," I can abuse it as much as I want so that I can enjoy the rhythm of writing as I think. There - that's out of the way.
Beginning thoughts: It's not good to take naps on Sunday afternoons...this leads to the inability to sleep on Sunday evenings...which then leads to the desire to work, do laundry, read a book, or try a new adventure - as it approaches midnight. This new adventure - blogging - could definitely be dangerous for someone such as myself. I do realize that blogging is not new; I can't say why I've stayed away from it for so long. Perhaps it seemed too self-absorbed or presumptuous to think that others might want to read what I have to say. But...I've given in - thinking that perhaps it is time to get out of my corner.
I have a tendency to think...a lot. And not all of my thoughts should be heard by others. Most thoughts that actually leave my mind and make it to my mouth have already been filtered - or so I would like to think. I promise to attempt to do some "self-editing" along the way. I also don't want this to become a big complaining spot...but I do have some pet peeves that I'll likely share. Bear with me as I "wander and wonder" (credit belongs to another for that phrase, but I don't know if I can cite her in a blog - for now...I will just say that this is not an original phrase) aloud in cyberspace...or just don't bother to read it if that makes you happier.
Warning: My faith journey is very crucial to my being. I will likely share that in this blog. If that offends...I won't apologize...I will never apologize for my faith.
Beginning thoughts: It's not good to take naps on Sunday afternoons...this leads to the inability to sleep on Sunday evenings...which then leads to the desire to work, do laundry, read a book, or try a new adventure - as it approaches midnight. This new adventure - blogging - could definitely be dangerous for someone such as myself. I do realize that blogging is not new; I can't say why I've stayed away from it for so long. Perhaps it seemed too self-absorbed or presumptuous to think that others might want to read what I have to say. But...I've given in - thinking that perhaps it is time to get out of my corner.
I have a tendency to think...a lot. And not all of my thoughts should be heard by others. Most thoughts that actually leave my mind and make it to my mouth have already been filtered - or so I would like to think. I promise to attempt to do some "self-editing" along the way. I also don't want this to become a big complaining spot...but I do have some pet peeves that I'll likely share. Bear with me as I "wander and wonder" (credit belongs to another for that phrase, but I don't know if I can cite her in a blog - for now...I will just say that this is not an original phrase) aloud in cyberspace...or just don't bother to read it if that makes you happier.
Warning: My faith journey is very crucial to my being. I will likely share that in this blog. If that offends...I won't apologize...I will never apologize for my faith.
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